Learn 2 Listen

I struggled with how to start this for a few days because the idea of being so upfront about something so deeply personal is obviously terrifying. However, Mariah’s purpose for this fantastic platform is to use one another’s stories to help one another, so hopefully, this can help you or someone you didn’t know was struggling. For me, my battle with depression and anxiety started when I was 15. I tore the labrum in my shoulder in the middle of a swim meet and was sidelined from the sport I loved for close to a year. Following the surgery, I gained a lot of weight and withdrew from friends and family, because I thought I needed to go through it alone and didn’t want to burden anyone. It got to the point where I called my best friend at 2 in the morning after several months because I was terrified of the darkness I found myself in. While I can point to that night as when I was at my lowest, depression is not a fight that is simply fought and won, but one that can continue over years. Fol...

I really admire Mariah for creating this because, as her friend, I wanted nothing more than to support her, but every time I sat down to write something I couldn’t find words I was comfortable sharing (and the thought of being publicly vulnerable made me wanna armadillo as much as the next person). Reading what other people had to say put me at ease because I didn’t feel exposed or alone anymore— So I would say she’s off to a pretty great start:). I have struggled a lot with those times in life when “nothings wrong, but everything is wrong.” I would have so much anxiety and sadness about being stressed and not “feeling great” and so much paranoia that everyone thought I had my shit together and one slip up and my entire facade would come crashing down. We go to a school where there is this stigma that if you aren’t high strung and high achieving, you must not care all that much, or as much as other people at least. But at the same time, if you don’t go out, see people, are seen, then “...

Although I have only been around for 21 years, I have come to realize that there is no such thing as a “normal” person who is free from their personal demons. No matter who you are or how old you are, you have been in an everlasting battle with some demon, and for me, this demon has manifested itself in an anxiety disorder and panic disorder. My first memory of anxiety was the blurry outline of a yellow school bus ready to take me to my first day of kindergarten. I remember clinging to my mom’s leg and begging her not to make me get on that bus. Moments before what I would call my first panic attack, I had just taken the cheesy “first day of school” pictures and was in a great mood. This all changed when that bus approached, and I realized I was going to be separated from my mother. I felt paralyzed and even at a young age, all I could think about was I was going to die if I got on the bus. The interesting thing about my anxiety disorder is that I have what doctors call anticipatory an...

  I was overjoyed when I committed to row at Notre Dame during my senior year of high school, but I didn’t know what was in store for me the next few months. Just weeks after I signed the National Letter of Intent in October of 2016, I started feeling sharp pains shooting down my legs and my back seized up every time I got in a boat. After various MRI scans, I was diagnosed with two bulging discs in my back and I wasn’t given any sort of timeline as to when they would heal. I missed the bulk of my senior season and started my freshman year at Notre Dame in the same place I had been a year ago. I was pessimistic about my future on the rowing team due to my back, but I wanted to give it everything I had for that year. I spent countless hours on the bike and extra time in the training room doing rehab, and it finally paid off when I was able to step in a boat again for the first time in February of 2018. I worked my way up the ladder that spring and made the 2V4+ boat and won the silv...

  My high school rowing club was known for our lightweight 4+ boat. Every lightweight rower and coxswain wanted to be in that boat. During my sophomore and junior year of high school, I watched our lightweight 4+ win Youth Nationals for two consecutive years. I desperately wanted to be the coxswain in that boat. By my senior year, I was chosen to be the coxswain in the lightweight 4+. Two of the rowers were twins who I had been best friends with and went to school since I was a toddler. I also went to elementary school and high school with the other two rowers. We were extremely close, and so winning nationals wasn’t something we wanted to do for ourselves but for each other. Outside of practicing six days a week, I studied my recorded coxswain calls, drafted several race plans, and obsessed over everything under my control as a coxswain. I was prepared for anything to happen. All the while, I started experiencing what I called “episodes.” I would hear or see something that would t...

Learn 2 Listen was founded by Mariah Parsons, a student-athlete and mental health advocate. Mariah has been inspired by the stories of others, learn more about her’s here: My own journey to open up has been a formidable challenge for me. While reflecting on the pivotal moments in my life, I have discerned four moments in my life that have challenged me in ways I’d never experienced before. But, I have learned to be grateful for these experiences, albeit painful. My responses to these challenges have shaped me into a better, stronger, more confident version of myself. In hopes of gaining your trust (and for my own cathartic release), I want to share some struggles I’ve previously elected to hide. I hope I can inspire others to do the same. My first life-pausing moment came when I almost lost someone extremely close to me. Previously, I never had to acknowledge the possibility of losing someone at a drop of a hat. It was extremely difficult to admit I was useless and I couldn’t be helpfu...

There seem to be endless possibilities that can overwhelm us if we let them. It is so easy to see things only from our point of view, we know it so well. But, I believe there is power in being able to understand someone else’s situation, experience, and opinion. To see where they are coming from, to empathize with them.  Over the past few months, while the world seemingly shut down overnight due to COVID-19 and countless racial injustices, I have taken the time we gained back from quarantine to educate myself, to reflect on my values, and to discern a few passions of mine. I have done so by participating in forums, classes, and internships that have developed my understanding of the world and of myself.  As I have started to educate myself on the many injustices that unfortunately seem to have become daily characteristics of life, I believe there is a lack of empathy prevalent in society. I want to work on improving human relations and understanding and thus, I began to brains...