My Story: Colleen

Years ago, I heard about this girl in my area that was left for dead at age seven. I overheard her mother’s boyfriend was touching her in some not-so-nice places. She actually told someone. But the next day her body was found with her head busted open in a ravine. I heard she survived, thank God for that.

Another young girl from my area was sexually abused between the ages of 9 to 13 by a neighbor who was supposed to be watching her while her mother went away. She was lost and confused and couldn’t get an explanation as to why she had to endure that type of abuse. But not having any family or an outlet, she had to endure years of pain and torture. She finally left the house of horrors and went to go live with her mom.

I know everybody remembered the Michael Jackson song “Beat it” and the belt with the iron spikes; just imagine her getting beaten with that belt every day for nothing. The abuse continued for years.

She finally got away and ran into her first love (her son’s father). After years of abuse, she finally felt loved, but that didn’t last long. She got pregnant right away. He left her six months pregnant. She became homeless, living from shelter to shelter, trying to survive.

A lot of people were still talking about her. They were so happy to hear she got away from all that abuse and met a man of God. Yes… I think she deserves nothing but the best! We all do. He promised her he would give her everything in the world; anything she wanted was hers. But what he didn’t tell her was that it came with black eyes, broken bones, hospital visits, disrespect, cheating, lies and that one ass whipping that would land her in the ICU. He really loved her; he even worshipped the ground she walked on and promised her he would love her to death. Yup, you heard me right. LOVE HER TO DEATH. The same ground he worshipped was the same ground he threw her down on and stomped her with his construction boots... He married her, got her right where he wanted her, beat her, and kicked her in her head, stomach, and face. He also threw her on the bed and raped her while his revolver was in her mouth. She ended up getting pregnant and thought the baby would change his ways. Yeah, okay. Sad to say he kicked the baby right out of her stomach.

Yeah, I know y’all sitting there saying: She is stupid, why didn’t she call the cops? Well, she did. They came, but he was also a police officer and when did you ever hear of an officer locking up their own partner? They had to stick together, right? I’m sure they abuse their wives at home too. Who knows?

Well, what do you know? I saw her the other day. I am so happy for her. She found love once again in the arms of another Godly man, a pastor. (You would think she had learned her lesson about these so-called men of God.)

They say a man who brings you close to God is a man to keep. Yeah, right. First of all, God is not lost, so a man can’t bring you close to Him. He needed to find God find himself, then come find her. He had to know her pain. I mean, he read her books, right? They got married but he forgot to tell her he was already married. After months of verbal, mental, physical, financial, emotional, and spiritual abuse, he wanted to protect her. How sweet! So, he took out an accidental life insurance policy on her. Yup, you heard me. “Accidental.” You know, just in case something randomly happened to her. For her 44th birthday, he set her up to get robbed and killed. Happy Birthday to her. There was one in the chamber, but the revolver jammed. Well, if that wasn’t protection from God, then I don’t know what that was.

This woman was looking for love in all the wrong places; however, she never gave up. She dated guys who all ended up being abusive. She decided enough is enough. She took some time to be alone and focus on herself, learning how to get past her past. After being celibate for a whole year, she went out on a date; he ended up stealing her credit card, rang it up, and her account was overdrawn. Poor woman can’t catch a break. I recently got an email from her. I was concerned about her, like how much more can she take? She picked herself back up again.

Oh, I forgot to tell you, she lost her father eight years ago from cancer. Her mother never loved her. She was called a mistake her entire life. She lost her older brother on June 14th. She lost her younger brother on July 30th. Her heart stopped on July 9th. She lost her niece on October 14th in a car accident; she lost her sister on April 21st due to complications of surgery. She lost 46 women to domestic violence in the past two years. Do you know the sad part of this whole story? That little girl and woman I told y’all about? That was me. Yup, that’s right.

This woman is now the author of 3 books I just recently launched my clothing line know your worth teaching women to know their worth. I am also a dancer, choreographer, teacher, soccer coach, model, and advocate for domestic violence and sexual abuse. I travel the world speaking to men and women in prisons, jails, and shelters, teaching them how to go from bitter and broken to beautiful and blessed.

Listen to me: I was sexually abused, raped, left for dead. My ex-husband set me up, put a gun to my head. If you noticed, I kept leaving, I didn’t stay. I didn’t let them or anything get in my way. With faith, favor, and grace. I tied up my laces and ran my own race. I came from the ghetto, didn’t have a mother or a father. So, you know my life was two times harder. Never put a question mark where God puts a period. Psalms chapter 139 verse 14 says I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Never let anyone tell you what you can and cannot do when Philippians 4:13 clearly says I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Don’t give up on God, because he won’t give up on you. Faith without work is dead. You can’t say you have faith, but don’t work towards it. You can’t sit down and keep complaining about your problems and expect them to change. Where there is life there is hope. Stop going back where you just asked God to remove you from. Look at what I went through; look at where I am now.
Won’t he do it?
Domestic violence and Sexual abuse survivor.